As The Weeks Go By
by bittersweetmelody47
Summary: He counts the days he and she maintain this distance. He hopes one day he'll have a reason to stop. Jate. Hints of Suliet. Spoilers only up to 5x08 "LaFleur", along with minor speculation for future episodes.


As The Weeks Go By

Awkward was the perfect word to describe the moment.

The irony of it was that word wasn't something he would ever have thought to associate with him and her.

The room is deathly still; he can feel Hurley's apprehensive eyes on him over the chessboard, but he doesn't meet them.

They stopped keeping track of the game five minutes ago.

It's been exactly thirty-two minutes since Sawyer left them to their new house.

He knows because he counted every minute.

He glances over at her.

She's sitting on the couch, leaning against her arm propped up on the edge of it, staring pensively at the floor.

He wonders what she's thinking.

He wonders if she's thinking about _him_.

He remembers how Sawyer and Juliet had walked off towards their home, how Sawyer had grasped Juliet's hand and whispered reassuring words to her that were only heard by them.

He remembers how Juliet had given him a small smile and nodded as Sawyer cupped the side of her face and kissed her.

It surprised him, even though he knew from the minute he saw them standing next to each other that there was something different between them.

He had looked towards Kate, saw the shock flit across her face, just for a second, before it was quickly dispelled.

He saw it.

But he didn't expect anything less.

He had gazed back at Sawyer and Juliet's retreating figures, trying to think of what to say to her, but when he had looked back she had already entered the house, leaving him alone under the glare of the porch light.

"Hurley."

At the sound of Kate's voice, he pulls out of his thoughts.

Hurley's head snaps up. "Yeah?"

"You can have one room," Kate continues, still looking down at the floor. "Jack and I will take the other."

Silence fills the room for a moment.

"Are you sure?"

Kate looks up at Hurley at this, the smile tight on her face. "Yeah, I'm sure."

She still won't look at him.

Hurley's eyes fall on him again, and as he stares back into them, seeing how questioning they are, he realizes that, while Hurley was one of the first to point out the developing feelings between himself and Kate that they had tried, at first, to deny (_So, Jack, you and Kate gonna move in a cave together?_), he's the first to notice now that something's wrong, that something has broken.

Those days about the caves seem like so long ago now.

He nods, Hurley relaxes, and the room is silent once again.

-

Kate presses against him, her head resting against his shoulder, closer to him in sleep than when she's awake.

She tosses and turns a lot, he's noticed this; something she never did when they lived together months before.

The moonlight from the window shines on her face as he looks down at her.

Her eyebrows are creased together, her eyes shut tight, plagued by a nightmare he doesn't know.

He brushes her hair away, the tips of his fingers trailing down the side of her face, and she sighs, curling against him.

He understands.

He's had his own fair share of nightmares.

-

It's been two weeks.

Two weeks have gone by since they've been back.

He knows this because he's been counting.

He and Kate, they fall into a routine. They come home, covered in a light sweat, their jumpsuits stained with dirt, and in her case, grease and oil.

He thought she'd hate it, so he can't help but be surprised seeing her get dressed every morning, her face smooth, relaxed and ready to go.

"I never figured you a mechanic," He comments, smiling softly, hopefully.

Kate leans against the refrigerator, pushing the stray curls from her face as she takes a sip of water.

She shrugs, managing a small smile back at him. "Juliet's been teaching me. It helps get my mind off things."

The slight sadness is evident in her voice and she seems to realize what she's said, for she turns away, her eyes shying away from his.

Later, the sound of running water in the background, he grabs her discarded jumpsuit, intending to put it in the wash, and almost misses the thing that slips out of the pocket and glints up at him from the floor.

He bends down and picks it up, the diamond ring twinkling in the palm of his hand, the gold chain it hangs on dangling from each side.

Kate shifts in the shower, the knob squeaking as she turns it to the right, turning it off, and he tucks it back inside the pocket and puts the jumpsuit back where it was.

-

It's been three weeks.

He's still counting.

"Since when did you get so boring?"

He diverts his half-hearted attention from the cards in his hand. "What?"

Sawyer shakes his head, his hair swinging and a grin on his face. "You haven't said a word for the past fifteen minutes."

He sets the cards on the table, face-down, and rubs his forehead. "Sorry. I guess there's not much to say."

"Not much to say?" Sawyer repeats incredulously, letting out a bark of laughter. "How about filling me in on the details about what you've been up to for the last three years?"

He smiles faintly. "I can assure you that everything that's happened here is more exciting."

"I'll be the judge of that. Start."

"You've heard it all, really," He replies, his eyes flicking to the clock on the wall above them. "Kate and Hurley pretty much gave you the gist of it."

Sawyer notices his brief gaze at the clock and turns around in his chair to look up at it.

"Looks like they're having a nice talk out there," Sawyer declares, and Jack can't help but feel relieved that Kate has found in Juliet someone she can open up to, even if it isn't him.

He nods, picks his cards back up, and they continue to play for a few minutes more.

Then Sawyer sighs. "What's going on with you and Kate?"

He looks up, startled.

"A blind man would be able to tell that things weren't right between you two," Sawyer says, arching an eyebrow. "I don't think I've seen you two have a conversation that lasted more than a few minutes. So what happened?"

He frowns, fixing his eyes on his cards but not taking them in. "A lot of things happened."

"She still loves you, you know," Sawyer continues. "Hell, after we crashed here, she would look at you like you were her knight in shining armor. It's always been that way."

Any other time Jack would have expected those words to be dripping with bitterness, but the only thing there is honesty.

Three years is a long time.

In three years, people change.

Sawyer slaps a full house on the table, smiling, and as he places his own cards down in defeat, he thinks of the ring he had discovered she still kept and he feels hope.

-

It's been four weeks.

He hasn't stopped counting.

Juliet leads Kate through the door and he's alarmed at how pale she looks.

"What's wrong with her?" He asks Juliet, placing his hand against Kate's forehead as she leans back on the couch.

To his relief, she doesn't have a fever.

"She had a dizzy spell," Juliet answers, bringing a hand up to brush her hair off a forehead already streaked with oil. "She almost fainted."

Kate shakes her head, moving to get up. "I'm fine."

He moves forward and puts his hand against her shoulder, gently pushing her back down. "You need to rest, Kate."

She looks up at him, and he expects her to retaliate, but then she just sighs and complies.

"You have the rest of the day off," Juliet says to her. "If you show up I'll drag you back here."

Juliet smiles, as does Kate.

"Thanks, Juliet," Kate says.

When Juliet departs, he grabs a pillow and blanket from the bedroom.

When she sees what he has she sits up a little so he can slide the pillow under her head.

He drapes the blanket over her and she shakes her head. "I'm not cold, Jack."

He nods, taking the blanket back, then asks, "Are you thirsty? I'll get you something--"

"Jack."

She's said his name like this a million times before, a way to make him stop what he's doing and get his attention, and he stares at her.

"I'm fine," She assures him, a grateful smile breaking free from her. "You don't have to worry about me so much."

He smiles back, bashful, and puts the blanket on a chair near the window.

"I'm used to it," He murmurs.

When he looks back at her, she's looking at him oddly, her eyes soft, and he thinks he knows what Sawyer is talking about now.

-

Kate slides back into bed and he wakes from the movement, squinting towards her.

The room isn't so dark now; there's a little bit of light outside and he can tell it's early morning, maybe around six.

He reaches out for her, but she says, "It's okay, Jack. Just go back to sleep."

After a moment her breathing becomes even and he knows she's fallen asleep again and he drifts off as well.

-

He doesn't know why he wakes up, and he blinks for a moment, then hears coughing from a close distance, muffled behind a door.

He looks to his right and sees that Kate's not there and he gets up, exiting the bedroom.

The light shines out from the narrow crack at the bottom of the bathroom door and he hears the coughing again, along with the sound of retching, and, concerned, knowing it's her, he pushes open the door lightly.

She's hunched over the toilet and he moves quickly forward, carefully pulling her hair back.

She tenses at his touch, but after a few seconds she takes a deep breath and reaches out and flushes the toilet.

He lets go of her hair, backing away a little as she gets up, and he watches as she goes to the sink and fills a cup with water.

"Kate, how long have you been doing this?"

She takes a drink and spits it out in the sink, then takes another drink and swallows.

"Kate."

She looks over at him, reluctant, then says, "Four days."

"Four days?" He says in disbelief. "You should have told me--"

"I'll get over it soon."

He shakes his head, it dawning on him. "This isn't just a sickness. You have all the symptoms…"

He thinks about it all: her dizzy spell at the motor pool, her sudden aversion to the smell of the coffee he makes, when she never minded it before, and now this, throwing up every morning.

"I'll be okay, Jack, really," She says, emptying the cup and putting it back by the sink.

"Kate--"

"You don't have to worry."

"You're pregnant, Kate."

This stops her, and she stares at the floor for a moment, her face tight, then she looks up at him.

"I know," She says softly, her shoulders slumping.

He approaches her, wrapping his arms around her, relieved when she leans against him.

"Everything's going to be okay," He says, and she nods meekly against him, her hands grasping the edge of his shirt.

"Can we keep this between us, for now?" She asks quietly, and for her, he agrees.

-

"I think Juliet knows," Kate announces from where she sits on the edge of the bed, and he looks back at her as he zips up his jumpsuit.

"Are you sure?"

She nods. " I think she knew the minute I almost fainted. And now that I'm feeling so tired all the time, she'll know that it's not just a sickness."

He considers her words. "Did she ask you about it?"

"No."

"Well, then maybe she doesn't know. Maybe you just think she does."

"She's a fertility doctor, Jack," Kate responds, and all of sudden looks glum. "She knows."

"Hey," He says, coming to stand in front of her and she stares up at him. "Tell me, honestly. How do you feel about this?"

Her eyes fill with tears and she looks away.

He takes her hands and drops to his knees so that his face is level with hers.

"I have to know how you feel about this, Kate," He says, and she peers back at him, somber.

She holds his gaze for a few seconds, then, "I'm not upset, Jack, I just… I don't know how I feel about this. Not yet."

A tear spills from one of her eyes and down her face and instinctively he brushes it away with his thumb.

"We'll take this one day at a time," He promises, desperate to assuage her fears.

She kisses him and he pulls her close as her hands run through his hair to rest at the back of his neck.

Her head falls to his shoulder with a sigh and he closes his eyes.

"I'm sorry about before, Kate; all the things I did…" He mutters, the regret sharp in his heart, and overwhelming relief runs through him when she shakes her head against him.

"We should all be able to start over, Jack."

Having his words thrown back at him is unexpected, but it's a much-needed comfort to him, and he can practically feel her smile.

"I think we should go ahead and tell everyone," She adds, her voice soft. "About the pregnancy, I mean…"

He smiles.

-

He's still counting, but now it's for a different reason.

-

It's been twelve weeks now that they've been back.

She's starting to show.

The bump is barely discernible, but one day he catches her smiling to herself as she struggles buttoning up her jeans.

He leans against the doorway, curious and amused. "What are you smiling about?"

She starts at the sound of his voice, a blush appearing on her cheeks.

"My, uh, pants won't fit."

"You're happy about that?" He grins.

She grins back. "In this case."

-

Twenty weeks have gone by.

"So, do you guys know what it's gonna be yet?" Hurley inquires as they relax in the living room.

Kate smiles, resting her hand over her stomach and he shakes his head. "No, we think it's best to wait."

"A surprise, huh?" Hurley says. "That's cool."

After a moment Kate excuses herself to go to the bathroom as they get ready to go to bed, and Hurley claps him on the back.

"I knew things would work out, dude."

-

She lies back onto the bed with a groan and he joins her, his hand caressing her rounded stomach.

"I can't wait until this is over," She says, exhaling deeply. "This is killing me."

"In a month she'll be here, Kate," He reminds her, and she looks over at him, amusement in her eyes.

" 'She', huh?"

He laughs. "It's just a feeling I have."

The baby kicks beneath his palm.

-

Kate screams and Juliet looks up at him, her face determined. "I've got this, Jack. You need to be by her side."

He hesitates; he's a doctor, he should do this, he knows what must be done--

"Jack," Kate calls out, exhausted, and he lets it go and is at her side.

She grips his hand tightly during the next contraction and he pushes the hair out of her face.

"Okay, Kate," Juliet proclaims. "I need you to push. Push now, Kate."

She does and her screams are like a knife in the heart to him but then Kate slumps back against the bed as new cries fill the room.

Juliet grins up at them. "It's a girl."

He looks at Kate, his eyes burning with tears, and she laughs, closing her eyes with a contented smile.

"Looks like your feeling was right, Jack."

-

He's lost count now.

---

.end


End file.
